Dean McDermott is openly discussing his nearly lifelong struggle with alcohol. He revealed that before his divorce from wife Tori Spelling in June, “I wanted to die.”
The 56-year-old McDermott told the Daily Mail, “I never got the proper treatment for my addiction,” saying that he spent nearly 30 years in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous and his alcohol use quickly turned into cocaine.
McDermott shared that he attended AA, then “went in and out of AA for a while, and then I’d go out,” presumably where he may have broken his sobriety.
After posting about the end of his marriage in June – where he revealed to the Daily Mail that he was inebriated – Spelling, 50, has reportedly agreed to take McDermott back for rehabilitation.
“In all these years, I’ll burn everything down. Anything good in my life: my career, love, relationships, family. It came to an end in separation,” McDermott who is now recovering in a quiet home in Woodland Hills with eight other individuals, told the outlet.
McDermott says that Spelling tried to help him. He told the Daily Mail, “She came from a place of pure love and wanted me to be healthy and happy.”
“She cared about my well-being more than hers. She loved me so much that she really didn’t want to tell me what impact it was having on her, although I could see it on her face. But then I was so selfish that it felt like, ‘Okay, pay attention to this, but don’t say anything. Move on.'”
Tori Spelling was forced to empty a rental home after a person allegedly made themselves a squatter by barricading themselves inside a neighbor’s house. McDermott told the Daily Mail that towards the end of their relationship, the couple wasn’t sleeping in the same bed anymore, and the specifics of their marriage “were anger and… screaming.”
“It got to the point where I was drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week, and doing a fistful of narcotics alone, you know, in the other room while a beautiful family is sleeping,” he shared.
The term “fifth” refers to a standard 750-milliliter bottle of liquor – roughly equivalent to 16 shots.
“This happened, and from this it broke. I couldn’t do it anymore. I can’t live this life anymore,” McDermott said. “And finally, faced with the fact, I surrendered to the fact that I needed help. I wanted to die. I woke up every morning saying, ‘F-, I woke up again.’ And I have six beautiful children and a beautiful wife, and I was angry that I woke up again.”
Spelling and McDermott ‘s children The meeting between Spelling and McDermott took place during the shooting of the TV movie “Mind Over Murder” in 2005. They were both in other relationships at the time –McDermott with Mary Jo Eustace and Spelling with Charlie Shanian – but due to their immediate connection, they got married shortly after in May 2006.
Their first child, Liam, now 16, was born the following year, and they had four more children afterward: Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 6.
McDermott is also the father of Jack, his 24-year-old son from his previous marriage to Mary Jo Eustace.
And now McDermott – who has started a new relationship with Lily Kailo, an executive at Conscious Community Global – says he regrets how things unfolded with Spelling.
He tearfully said, “All she ever wanted was for me to be happy and healthy.” “I’ve caused that woman so much damage and pain.”
“I’m taking responsibility for it today, and this is the biggest amend I’m going to make so far.”